


Godspeed

by nottinghill



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Confessions, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss/Ymir reunion, Not Canon Compliant, One Shot, Royal Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-15 04:14:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28807161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nottinghill/pseuds/nottinghill
Summary: It's been months since Ymir has left. Historia still hasn't gotten over her. Her old feelings and emotions resurface when a prisoner refuses to talk to everyone, except her.
Relationships: Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss & Ymir, Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss/Ymir
Comments: 12
Kudos: 63





	Godspeed

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfiction ever. I just wanted to give them a happy ending because this is all I've been thinking about recently. Enjoy!

The gentle sounds of rain wash over Historia as she lets her mind wander to the warm, still room in her heart. She knocks on the door, expecting an answer, but knowing that she’ll never get one. Gathering the courage, she opens it and walks to the closest memory. Chuckles fill her ears as she turns around and sees a brunette doubled over laughing.

“Krista- Krista- You’ve should’ve seen them! Jean was like, “Yeah! Screw off Jaeger!” And then Eren said, “Piss off Horseface!” BUT that’s not even the best part! Mikasa tripped Jean and THEY KISSED! By accident, sure, but they still kissed.”

Like a song she’s heard a thousand times, Historia’s lips part to say her response.

“Oh Ymir, I bet it was funnier in person. You can’t keep up your mean exterior though. No one will believe me when I say you’re a softie.”

“Well, I’m only a softie for you, Krista. No wonder why they don’t believe you.” Ymir whispered as she pulled Krista into a hug, kissing the top of her head. 

Opening her eyes, Historia hadn’t noticed that she started crying. Wrapping her arms around her body, she attempted to remember how those long tan arms once felt around her. She stayed like that for a while, trying to steady her breathing. 

“Why didn’t I tell her before she was gone,” the words bouncing off the walls right back at Historia, “I would open my mouth and nothing would come out. I loved her so much. Why didn’t I just say it? If I had just said it, then I wouldn’t have any regrets. She was perfect. God, she was the one, wasn’t she?”

Glancing around her room, she felt overwhelmed by how big it is. Too big for one person, she thought to herself. She finally locked eyes on the door leading to the balcony. Forcing her legs to swing off of the bed, Historia shuffled over to the door. Slowly turning the door handle, making sure that the guards couldn’t hear her. 

Cold radiates across her body once she is fully out in the rain. Looking out, she sees the garden in front of her. Rose bushes that she planted when she first came here. Hoping that one day, she’ll be able to cut a flower off and place it in Ymir’s hair. She smiles at the thought, but then remembers what her reality is. Historia is the queen, a job she never wanted, and she is alone. No father, no siblings, and no lover. It’s not like she had the lover in the first place, but she had the chance of Ymir becoming her lover. Now, she has regrets. Regrets that fill her heart during the day and haunt her at night. They become all consuming when she raises her head to the sky, seeing the freckling of stars across the sky’s body. 

“Ymir,”

The name slips off her tongue like silk, as she brings her fingers to her mouth to check if she had actually spoken. She smiled at the sound of her name, missing all of the ways that she used to say it. Sometimes it was a strict way, like a mother schooling a child after picking a fight. Other times, it was broken into two syllables during a fit of laughter caused by Ymir’s horrible impersonations of the other cadets. Usually, it was one of Sasha, where Ymir tried to see how many potatoes she could shove into her pants without someone else noticing. 

However, her favorite was when they were still in the Cadet Corps together. Ymir had asked Historia to meet her by their favorite fruit tree after an intensive day of training. She remembered laying down, looking at the sky until she heard Ymir clear her throat to get her attention. Historia pushed herself off the ground and saw Ymir standing, fidgeting with a bouquet in her hands. 

“I know we had a tough day in training and I saw you cry. I thought maybe some flowers would cheer you up, BUT don’t go around telling anyone, okay?”

Tears filled her eyes at the thought of that memory. She barely choked out her name before pulling Ymir into a hug. Historia barely said her name, but that was when she knew she was in love with her. Seeing Ymir fidget nervously like a little kid, melted Historia’s heart and made her realize that she really was the one. 

Wiping the tears and rain away from her face, she decided that it was time to go back inside and eventually go to bed. Shutting the door as quietly as she could and tiptoeing back to bed, Historia turned to look at the frame by her bed. It was a simple drawing of her and Ymir, from when they had an off day in the Cadets. Ymir made her go get a drawing of them done together, as a joke at the time, but now it serves as the seldom piece of evidence that Ymir was once in her life. 

“Goodnight,” Historia whispered to the drawing. Turning off her gas lantern, she closed her eyes waiting for sleep to wash over her, maybe to bring her to a dream where she could be reunited with Ymir. She smiled at that thought, while she started to drift off to sleep. 

~

Sounds of pounding flew through the air, waking up Historia in an instant. When she opened her eyes, she saw several of her Crownguard staying in front of her, with a shocked look on their faces. Moments of silence continue until Historia’s voice pierces through the thick air. 

“Is someone going to speak up and tell me what’s wrong? Or am I supposed to guess?”

“Your majesty, there was an attempted break-in last night. Now, the prisoner is refusing to eat, drink, or speak to anyone, except you. We didn’t want to bother you, but we think it is better if you actually meet with them.”

A break-in? Who would dare to try to break in, especially when everyone knows how guarded the palace is, Historia thought to herself before responding to her Crownguard. 

“Well, if they won’t talk to anyone else, then I’ll get ready now to meet the prisoner. Give me five minutes then I’ll be ready. Got it?”

They all nodded and left the room swiftly. Historia stepped out of bed, stretching and taking a deep breath. She didn’t have a lot of time to get ready, so she threw on the closest clothes to her. A white blouse and beige pants. She reached for her cape, to wrap around her shoulders, signifying to all that she was the Queen. Once Historia had the chance to look in the mirror, she huffed disappointed at herself. 

“Why did I tell them to give me only five minutes? I forgot how puffy my eyes get from crying. God, I can only hope that the prisoner won’t notice.”

Quickly putting her hair into a nice bun, she glanced around her room to see if she was forgetting anything. Her eyes laid on the frame beside her bed, “Good morning,” she whispered to it and walked towards the door. Laying her hands on the handles, she pulled the door open, nodding to her guards that she was ready to leave and meet this prisoner. 

~

“Stay in this room ma’am, we will be right back with the prisoner. Will you want us to leave you alone with them or have someone stay in here with you?”

“I’ll decide when you come back with the prisoner, if it seems like they won’t talk with anyone else in here, then I’ll send you off.” Historia gave the guard a small smile, hoping that he’ll leave her be with the prisoner. 

Five minutes pass until she hears the door open, glancing up to look at the prisoner, she is met with a familiar set of amber eyes. No, it can’t be. No, this is impossible. She left with them. She left me for them, Historia’s thoughts race, while she watches Ymir sit down in front of her. 

“Your majesty,” a voice cuts through the deafening silence, 

“Do you want me to stay or go?”

“Aww buddy, let me and the girl catch up, would ya?”

A fire erupts inside Historia’s heart, spreading to her tongue.

“Soren, leave,” Historia pushes the words out of her mouth, gritting her teeth together. The guard nodded at her and quickly left the room. Pushing herself out of the chair, Historia stands up and walks over to Ymir. Her arms are tied behind her back, she looks smaller than usual, like someone had shrunk her. Historia towers over her, staring into her eyes, before saying anything. 

“You,”

Before she can stop herself, Historia’s hand raises, smacking Ymir across the face. Again and again, like something had possessed her. She didn’t stop until she heard a quiet voice come out of Ymir, like she was a little child again. 

“Why are you doing this?”

Historia froze, holding her right hand to stop from smacking Ymir. Ymir was staring into her eyes, waiting to hear an answer. 

“Because YOU left me,” Historia’s voice broke when she delivered the words. She stared into Ymir’s eyes waiting for an answer for what felt like eternity. Historia knew that it was now or never to get her real feelings and thoughts out. 

Reaching out to caress the brunette’s freckled face, the words started to pour out of her, 

“You left me. You turned around and left me. You had so many chances to come back to me. I don’t care what you were running away from, but why didn’t you think that I wouldn’t try to protect you? I’ve spent months waiting for you to come back, months sobbing over you, months praying that you would appear and everything would be okay.  
I got your letter. I haven’t read it, I wasn’t ready to hear your last words to me yet. However, I do know it’s bullshit. Whatever it says, it is bullshit. You were probably saying sorry to me for lying to me over the years. I thought maybe, just maybe that there would be an ounce of sincerity to your words when you said that we would live together. Grow old together. Get married. Now, I realize it was all a joke. You never loved me. I was probably just a friend to you. Hell, probably a ticket out of whatever hole you dug for yourself. But I loved you, Ymir.”

Historia watched the shock spread across Ymir’s face when she delivered those words. Those three little words, but she had to continue on. Get all of her emotions out. She had to lay it all out there and be honest, who cares if it burned everything to the ground. 

“Ymir, I love you. I love you in a really big way, pretend to like your kind of jokes, let you eat the last piece of food, profess my love to you where everyone can hear. But that makes me also hate you, love you. We would sit by that tree by ourselves. Talk about our future, moving up in the world, being together until the very end. You always wanted more, all I wanted was you.  
I thought maybe it was true when you would ask me to marry you as a joke. My heart would flutter at those words. Imagining having you by my side for the rest of my life. Frankly, it sounded like a dream. All of the words in every language can’t amount to how much I love you. How much I wanted that future. How much I wanted to have the luxury of waking up each day with you by my side. How much I wanted to have little kids with you. Watch them have your freckles and smirk. Letting them run around and tackle us. I just wanted us to be a family. Have little babies and watch them grow up until we are old and grey.  
Ymir, I’ve been in love with you this whole time, I still am, and I will be until the day I die. Ymir, I’ll love you through this life and all of my reincarnations.  
But you left. And when you left, so did my happiness. My love. My light. My breath. My air. My sun. My water. My world came crashing down when I saw you turn away and never came back. I knew that very moment you never loved me. I knew that I was a joke. Someone to toy around with to make you feel like a good person. But you’re here now, somehow. I don’t necessarily care for what your story is, but since you gave me the courtesy of listening to what I had to say, I’ll give that to you as well.”

Historia took a deep breath and looked into Ymir’s eyes. She had been crying this whole time, the tears were streaming down her face. Historia’s hand extends to her face, wiping away the tears.

“You love me?” Ymir whispered, asking with complete sincerity as she looked into Historia’s eyes. 

“Ymir, I’ve been head over heels in love with you since the moment I laid my eyes on you. I’ve known you were the one for me since that day you gave me that bouquet of flowers. I’ve only ever wanted you, no one or nothing else.” Historia smiled at Ymir, while lightly brushing her face with her fingertips. 

“I love you too Historia. Historia… You were like coming up for fresh air. I was drowning and you saved me. Everything I’ve said to you about us getting married, I meant. If I could, I would marry you right this instant. Historia, you are all I wanted in a person. You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid my eyes on. I was broken when you met me, but you’re the one who put me back together. I’m forever indebted to you, my Queen. I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you, I swear, if only you’ll allow me.  
Historia, I know what I did was wrong. Leaving you. The moment I turned around, I could feel myself making the wrong decision. However, Reiner wouldn’t let me leave. I couldn’t get away from him. He let me write a letter to you and I did just in case I couldn’t get back. It wasn’t until him and Betholdt were passed out after constantly traveling, that I attempted to run away. I had to hide from them and I was constantly running away. Eventually, I got lost trying to find my way back to you. However, here I am, with you once again.  
I won’t ever leave you again. Historia, you are the love of my life and my biggest regret is leaving you. Leaving you and our future. I know sorry won’t cut it and it’ll take a while before you can trust me fully again, but promise me you’ll try. Promise me that you’ll give me another shot. Promise that you’ll love me, even when you hate me. If you do, I promise to never leave you again, to stay by your side constantly until I die, and to love you more each day than the day before.”

The tears came streaming down Historia’s face when she grabbed the brunette and pulled her into a hug, forgetting that her arms were tied behind her back, so she couldn’t hug her back. She didn’t care, her Ymir was back. She finally came back home. She held on tight, afraid that if she let go, that she would lose her again. 

“Historia, I don’t want to ruin the moment, but I can’t move my arms.” Ymir mumbled against her chest.

“Oh god, I forgot, let me undo that now. Then we can leave this small room and I’ll show you around the castle.”

~

The sun’s rays pound onto their faces while they walk through the garden, holding each other as tight and close to each other. The two had spent the majority of the day together, talking about what they had missed in the past months, and recounting old stories. They finally made it to the garden, where Historia was eager to show Ymir her flowers. 

“Here are some Foxglove that I’ve planted. I just adore how many different colors there are, plus the flowers are a little funky looking,” Historia caught herself laughing, the first time since Ymir left. 

“Wait, here are my favorites, the rose bushes,” Historia grabbed Ymir’s hand, pulling her as fast as she can towards the rose bushes. 

“Now, do me a favor and sit down.”

“Uh, what are you doing?” Ymir finally sits down reluctantly. 

Pulling out some gardening scissors, Historia cut off a bright crimson rose. Her smile was from ear to ear. When she sat down, she leaned over, placing a gentle kiss on Ymir’s lips, then pulling away to place the rose in her hair. 

“Awww, you look gorgeous. The red goes so well with your dark hair and cute freckles,” Historia giggled, looking at Ymir’s smug and slightly annoyed face. Ymir smiled at Historia and shakes her head before laying down on the grass. She pulls Historia to her and holds her against her chest before speaking. 

“Do you think we’ll be okay one day? Once we work through all of this?”

“We will be, I promise.”

“I love you.”

“I love you more doofus.”

**Author's Note:**

> Sometimes free therapy is writing a nice ending for fictional gays. Also I hope y'all noticed the Grey's Anatomy quotes I threw in here/modified. I think there was one She-ra quote too.


End file.
